Self-editing is overrated. Or is it?

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

The cheapest place to live in LA?

What do lawn gnomes, barbeques, and a 60-ish year old prostitute with a fondness for tight skirts and glittery, silver high-heeled shoes have in common? Well, they all live in LAX (Los Angeles Airport) parking lot B.

Apparently, LAX allowed airline workers to park RVs at Parking Lot B, behind a restaurant for $30 a month. The program was to allow airline employees a place to catch a few winks, shower, and rest in between flights.

However, the airport would give anyone a pass, and when the RV community got wind of the $30 per month fee, trailer trash converged on the airport, bringing with it a multitude of problems, including human waste dumped on the ground. They are now trying to clean it up or kill the program. Read all about it here.

Now, as it so happens, my son (who's 3) and I walked across this lot not so long ago.(Well, I walked, he rode on top of the luggage.) Without going into too much detail, let's just say that it is a LONG walk from Terminal 1 to Terminal 7, and do not let anybody at US Airways try to tell you otherwise.

Anyway, we took a "shortcut" (ahem) across lot B and I distinctly remember looking around and thinking "Wow, these people have really been waiting for a long time for their passengers to show up at baggage claim." But, of course, my son started to ask he could go play with the lawn gnomes and so then I really sped up the Smarte-carte, so as to not be stuck there all morning while my son raised hell with trailer park ornaments. But it was weird, man. I definitely remember wondering what the hell was going on.

I guess my question is "In a day and age where we are so worried about airport security, is it a good idea to let anybody with $30 live at the airport?" I mean, I saw The Terminal too, and trust me, there is no one like Tom Hanks living out here in this lot. But then there isn't anyone working as a flight attendant who looks like Catherine Zeta-Jones either, I guess.

OR! We could celebrate it! Maybe lets like hire these people as greeters or something! You know, LA is a weird town, why hide it, right? Let's put these people to work and really get visitors excited about what life is truly all about here.

I can see it now... You get off the plane and you hear....

"Welcome to LA, here's your lawn gnome. Elderly prostitutes are to your left, look out for the human feces on your right. All the buildings here look alike, except for the ones that you will never be allowed to enter. Enjoy your stay!"

I think it would catch on like gangbusters!


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