Christopher Robin undergoes a sex change....

Now, I know most of you who read blogs are looking for something with great substance, the inside story, the untold conspiracy, the real deal. I, however, normally have as much insight as a bowl of dirt.

BUT! Today's my day for that story, my friend! That's right, check out this story from the London Times about none other than the previously lovable and carefree children's character Winnie The Pooh! Oh sure, you thought it was all hunky-dory in the Hundred Acre Wood, didn't you? Well, my friends, trouble is afoot.

You see, this article does the classic one-two punch by revealing two horrible truths about these characters we've all come to know and love. First, it reveals that for the new upcoming Pooh series for the Disney Channel, Christopher Robin has been changed from a young boy to a girl! Now, seeing that these characters have existed in print for 80 YEARS, what's the reason for this, you may ask? Newly discovered information from the A.A. Milne estate?

Sadly, no. It turns out marketing is the reason. After a bunch of test-marketing, Disney has decided it can better market a girl character instead of a boy character for their new show, so even though Christopher Robin has been around practically as long as the Walt Disney company itself, he's being retired. Or, as a person in charge of the marketing put it, “Pooh appears to be a robust brand that can handle expansion.” Amazing, huh?

But while you're still digesting that tidbit, the article goes on to an interview with the widow of the REAL Christopher Robin. As you may (or may not) remember, A.A. Milne based the little boy character on his son, named Christopher Robin, who was a young boy at the time. As the interview with the widow reveals, this completely ruined the son's life! He was apparently bullied mercilessly as a boy and said that his father's books “filched from me my good name and . . . left me with nothing but the empty fame of being his son”.

Now, before you start wondering what the fuss is all about here, you should know that Disney takes in 1 BILLION with a B per year on Winnie The Pooh related stuff. So, like this decision didn't just come up by accident. Still, if you wanna complain, you could go here or here. Or just bitch about it like me, Wil Wheaton, and Neil Gaiman.


Image courtesy of Whatever..