Self-editing is overrated. Or is it?

Sunday, December 11, 2005

This is no mitzvah...

My Photo

The above photo of 50 Cent and his dj was taken at the Mitzvahpalooza and obtained by the almighty Tabloid Baby!, which was the 10 MILLION DOLLAR bat mitzvah for one lucky girl in New York City. Boy, the look of disbelief on that dj says it all, doesn't it? Shot 9 times, comes back from the dead to go onto international stardom and he's going out like that? Damn.

Not to mention that Fitty is wearing a diamond studded cross for the whole thing! Pardon me, Mr Cent. Might I suggest a little research on your audience next time you do a private show? You may wanna leave that cross at home when you rock that Nation Of Islam fundraiser in the future....

But you think that dj's look is bad? Imagine the look on my face, and your face when you and I read this entry.

You see, the first question one asks oneself when you read something like this is WHO? Who has 10 million dollars to blow on a party for a 13 year old? Remember Dennis Kozlowski, the now convicted chairman of Tyco, who had that crazy-ass birthday party for his wife that was on the news over and over again? You know, the one where the ice statue of David was peeing Stolichnaya vodka? That party only cost TWO MILLION. This party cost 5 times as much! It's rumoured that it cost 2 million just to get Aerosmith in the room!

So who's party is this? The man who wrote the check is none other than David H. Brooks, CEO of bulletproof vest maker DHB Industries. Bulletproof vests? Is there that much money in bulletproof vests? Well, ever since we went to war in Iraq, there sure is. DHB is the chief supplier of vests to our military forces and to put it inperspective for you, Mr. Books earned $70 million in 2004, which is 13,349% more than his 2001 compensation of $525,000.

Now, is it a crime to be rich? No, it is not. Is it a crime to get rich off of selling a product to our military in a war? Definitely not. Is it a crime to become so obscenely rich off of a product that you sell to our military that you throw the most lavish party ever in the history of the world for a 13 year old? It's extremely tacky maybe, but no, it isn't a crime.

But! What if you got obscenely rich off of selling a product to our military at war that, in fact, did not actually do what you said it would do? According to a government memo uncovered in an eight-month investigation by the Marine Corps Times, the company’s vests, made by DHB subsidiary Point Blank Body Armor, failed tests when they suffered “multiple complete penetrations” of 9mm pistol rounds and other ballistics. In the memo, government ballistics expert James MacKiewicz said his office “has little confidence in the performance” of the body armor. The Marines recalled 5,277 of the company’s “Interceptor” vests in May.

So, let's recap. Guy makes a fortune selling defective vests to our military and throws his daughter the most elaborate bat mitzvah ever to celebrate. If that's all this was, then yes, it's disgusting, but hey, life goes on, right? But the kicker is that this money was made off of the military, and guess who gives them their money? That's right. You and me.

We all just paid for the greatest bat mitzvah of all time. And we didn't even get to go.

Check out that dj's face again. Damn. I can't believe we all went out like that.


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