Self-editing is overrated. Or is it?

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Charlize Theron tastes fantastic!


Well, I had the quintessential Hollywood experience the other night at Hamasaku, which is this phenomenal sushi restaurant in Los Angeles.

So what's strange about this place is that it's completely hidden in this anonymous looking strip mall, and even once you're directly outside the restaurant, you're still like "Is this it?". Inside, however, is a totally different story, as it's a lovely place and the sushi is freakin' crazy-good. Now, the cachet of the place is supposedly that this is where the celebrities comes for their sushi.

"Yeah, sure", I hear you say, "you could say that about half the sushi restaurants in Los Angeles.", and yes, you would be right. BUT! Where this place is different than the rest is that each of the special rolls are actually named after celebrities who supposedly frequent the restaurant. And I'm not talking about Morey Amsterdam here. These people are so famous that like they only use their first name like Enrique, Anna and Christina Aguilera. (All right, she uses both her first and last name, but that's because she'll do anything to make sure you remember her, if you know what I mean.)

Now, the first thought one has about this when looking at the menu is "I wonder if any of these people ever actually come in here." You know what I mean? Like, ok, MAYBE Enrique and Anna stumbled in here once, but is it really like their roll?

So I end up ordering a Charlize roll and a XXX roll, (which I'm assuming is named after the movie, and not like after Ron Jeremy or somebody like that). So we're served our food, and the Charlize roll is great - it's basically spicy tuna between two fried wontons and topped with avocado and this spicy sauce. So I'm eating it and at that moment, this beautiful blond woman walks by our table to her table. And sure enough, it's Charlize Theron! She's with her boyfriend, and a whole bunch of people for what appears to be a birthday party. Of course, she looks great. But I can't get over the fact that I'm eating her roll (if you will) and she's sitting next to us. So it's takes all my willpower to not just yell out "Charlize, baby, you taste fantastic!", but somehow I restrain myself.

Anyway, they eat a lot (I mean A LOT) of food at her table, and man, the restaurant keeps bringing it out. How can such a small woman pack away so much sushi? It made me think of the story that came out last year about her and her boyfriend getting thrown out of Nozawa (widely regarded as L.A.'s greatest sushi restaurant, complete with a sushi Nazi chef) for ordering too much sushi. I kid you not. Now it should be said that Nozawa is a hyper-controlling chef, he allows no printed menu, and there is a sign that hangs behind his sushi bar that says "Special of the day - TRUST ME". Let's just say he's not gonna be naming any rolls (if he even makes any) for any star anytime soon.

Anyway, the restaurant gives us some leftover chocolate truffles that doesn't make it to Charlize's table, and they're really good. It must be nice to get this stuff hand over fist, but hey, I'm not complaining. As of now, I'm allowed into Nozawa, (I think), and I can say that I ate Charlize's roll while she watched and I won't get beaten up!

Hopefully, that is.


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