Self-editing is overrated. Or is it?

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

There is no point in coming back to work if everyone else is still mentally on vacation.

My god, the world is madness today.

The problem with these 3 day weekends is that people just DO NOT want to go back to work at the end of 'em. You know? It's like everyone said "Well, hey, why can't I take 4 days off? Or 5? Really, I should get off until after New Years, no one is gonna give a damn til then anyway. After all, I don't get paid enough anyway for this stupid job and I gotta put up with these crappy people who won't get off my..."

But they don't finish that sentence, because in the middle of it, some crazy-ass thing happens because they weren't paying any attention. Why? Because they're still on vacation.

For example, there's a plane that's getting ready to make an emergency landing right now at LAX. It left from Orange County on its way to Denver. Wait a minute. Orange County? And it has to land at LAX? That's 15 minutes away. What happened?

Someone left the door to the plane open.

The cargo door, to be exact. Relax, everyone's fine, the cabin remained pressurized. But you see what I'm saying? Somebody just took their eye off the ball. Or door, in this case.

Or how bout this? Were you on the I-10 or the I-5 this morning, and you were wondering why you were just sitting there? Well, somebody driving a truck wasn't paying attention and spilled 80,000 pounds of french fries all over the intersection of both of those highways.

80,000 pounds of french fries.

There was some talk as to whether they should clean the mess up, or just crash another truck with 40,000 pounds of ketchup into it, and then just let people at it.

Hell, even Oprah can't get back to work today. She was flying her private jet out of her home in Santa Barbara back to Chicago, when a bird flew into the windshield of her jet, severely cracking it. (Probably just a desperate attempt to get into the "My Favorite Things" show audience.) Oprah had to sit out the day in SB, while the jet was repaired. Stedman also had the day off from whatever the hell it is he does.

Look, I say let's just give everybody the time off. We all know we're just lame ducks til after the New Year anyway, and seriously, it's just comedy at best, and disaster at worst from now til then. Who's with me?

2 Comments:

Anonymous Alex said...

Brilliant!!!!

The problem is, if everyone in Hollywood took time off because they weren't mentally prepared to come back to work, there'd be no one left in Hollywood.

12/28/2005 11:02 AM

 
Blogger Lindsay Jones! said...

an excellent point, my friend. but then! you and I would be in charge!

yay!

12/28/2005 11:04 PM

 

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