Self-editing is overrated. Or is it?

Monday, December 26, 2005

When traveling all day with a 3 year old, one needs perspective...

Man, I'm beat. A total of 12 hours traveling today with my family, and I really think that I need to have a private conversation with the Play-A-Sound book people. You know, where the books have these sound effects modules attached to the books? Maybe I'll just write them a letter.

Dear Play-A-Sound,

HEY! HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT I AM TALKING VERY LOUDLY? ARE YOU WONDERING WHY I DON'T TALK ANY QUIETER? REALLY? SO, IN A SENSE, IT'S LIKE I SORT OF RESEMBLE YOUR PRODUCT, AS I DO NOT HAVE A VOLUME KNOB EITHER! MAYBE IF YOU LOOK INTO THAT, I MIGHT ALSO THINK ABOUT TALKING MORE QUIETLY!

Sincerely,
Lindsay Jones

P.S. DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN? HAVE YOU RECEIVED THE DIRTY LOOKS FROM TOTAL STRANGERS IN THAT FIFTH HOUR OF THE FLIGHT, WHEN YOUR CHILDREN WON'T STOP PRESSING THE DAMNED THOMAS THE TRAIN BUTTON OVER AND OVER AGAIN? REALLY?


Well, still and all, as bad as today was (and I guess it wasn't all bad), it wasn't anywhere near as bad as these poor people whose plane was delayed at LAX for 45 HOURS!

















First, they get on the plane, and they blow a tire on the takeoff. So they dump all the fuel and go back to LAX. Of course, when you land a plane without a tire, it makes a huge mess. The landing gear dug into the runway, leaving a 7,000-foot-long field of debris that took 40 employees hours to clean up. So the plane is delayed til the next day.

So, next day comes, they try again, 2 and a half hours later than the scheduled departure time. They get on the runway, about to take off when....the pilots realize one of the engines has failed. They then have to tow the airplane back to the gate, which takes about 45 minutes. Thinking that mechanics can fix the engine quickly, they tell the passengers to stay in their seats and they will leave again in about 10 minutes.

The repair took 5 HOURS.

Now, speaking as a person who was on a plane today for 5 hours (and mind you, it was my second one of the day), I can honestly say that it's not particularly pleasant. But, see, the difference is that my plane was moving. It was moving because the engines were working. Because you know what happens when you turn off the engines on a plane in order to fix them? That's right, the air goes off too. So, imagine that the plane's temperature is becoming increasingly uncomfortable, passengers are starting to get angry, flight attendants lock up the galley to keep it from being overrun by rioting passengers....

All they needed was a single Play-A-Sound book and the whole plane would have turned into a full-scale prison riot.

Which is actually not far from what happened next. Basically, the passengers organized and busted out of the plane when they couldn't take it anymore. I totally sympathize, believe me.

Anyway, I feel terrible for these poor people, and I will say that it certainly puts my day into perspective. As the new year approaches, I will attempt to try to complain less.

BUT DON'T THINK THAT THIS GETS YOU OFF THE HOOK, PLAY-A-SOUND!

(Oh, like I'm gonna complain less....)

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know how you stand it. I couldn't bare to get on and off a plane so much. Course, if I did, I'd be so filled with Valium if the boy started to play the Star Spangled Banner with a live orchestra, I probably wouldn't mind.

Maybe that's the solution, more drugs.

For you, not him.

12/27/2005 9:56 AM

 
Blogger somewhere in Ohio said...

Ahhh, traveling with toddlers! I wonder if they have a book about the good, the bad and the disasterous! The last plane ride we took was a 6 hour flight, I thought I would finally get some quiet time and I would actually get to sleep. Being a mother of two, I never get enough. But someone elses toddler sat behind me and kicked the crap out of my seat and pulled my hair the entire flight...when he wasn't screaming at his mother. I felt bad for her! I wonder if they started children friendly flights with Noggin or Nickelodeon as the features if it would be a big hit? I'd pay extra for it!

12/27/2005 1:41 PM

 

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