Self-editing is overrated. Or is it?

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Trailer Remixes 4: A New Beginning!

I tell ya, man, I cannot believe how popular these trailer remixes have become.

It's crazy! People can't stop coming for them! I can't believe I'm still finding more of them! It's insanity!

All right, once again, for those who are joining late, a trailer remix is a trailer for a movie that, with some drastic re-editing and completely different music, becomes a trailer for a completely different movie. Before you watch the latest ones, you must watch that have been posted before which are here, here and here.

Tonight's contestants are: Fight Club, D.O.A. (that's right, the one from 1949), Office Space, and a special trailer remix tribute to Star Wars!

This now bring the count to 18 trailer remixes on this blog. I can't keep doing this, but I'm powerless to stop. Help me, someone, I beg of you.

Hey! I've got an idea! Let's update some of the stories we've been talking about lately! Yay!

As always, if you missed the story the first time, just click on the picture next to the update, and read the original story first. Then come back and read the update. Here we go!

- PR Newswire is reporting that Chuck Lamb, also known as Dead Body Guy, has landed a part in this season's final episode of What I Like About You on the WB network. He's also been offered his first starring role in the low budget horror movie "Horrorween", which is about a murderer stalking a theatre showing "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". Gee, a guy who specializes in playing dead bodies starring in a horror movie. I wonder what happens to him?

- It turns out that I was completely wrong about Ron Michaelson being the "saddest son of a bitch in show business". He's done quite well for himself, with appearances on numerous sitcoms, including Will & Grace, Entourage, and Joan Of Arcadia, as well as a memorable performance on Arrested Development. The title of "saddest son of a bitch in show business" now reverts to its original holder: namely, me.

- Well, the good news is that Sly Stone showed up at the Grammys and he is still alive. The bad news is virtually everything else that surrounded his appearance. As predicted here, he was preceeded a wide variety of today's artists completely destroying his hits in every style imaginable. You could tell from the mega-ironic introduction by Dave Chappelle, who basically said that Sly was driven out of the business by the same forces that drove Dave out of the business (i.e. the people who pay you an extraordinary amount of money for you to show up some place on time). It was clear that this was going to be a bad journey through weirdsville. Backed by a band that strangely included everyone from Nile Rodgers of Chic on guitar to Randy Jackson of American Idol on bass, this horrific medley of Sly's songs including an extremely weak version of "Everyday People" by Maroon 5 (also known as this year's Verve Pipe), Joss Stone shoobedooing her way through "Family Affair", and I do not know what song Will.I.Am. from the Black Eyed Peas thought he was doing, but whatever it was, he should not do it again. Then, the big moment everybody has been waiting for, Sly Stone comes out on stage and................

What the hell? He looks like Jean Beauvoir from the Plasmatics!

Sly Stone................................Jean Beauvoir

Sly wears a huge silver coat to cover up his hunchback, and I mean, there he is, in person. It's a miracle. He gets up behind the keyboard and sings half of the chorus of "I Want To Take You Higher". He looks sorta lost, the band is going and he just seems like this kitten that was thrown in the middle of them to see what he would do. Now looking very confused, Sly walks to the front of the stage, waves to the crowd and leaves. The band barely seems to notice his exit.

That's it? We waited all this time for this?

Immediately, the web is alive with rumors: Sly was mad because the band wasn't following him, Sly was drugged up and barely knew where he was, Sly was never all there in the first place, you name it.

Leave it to Page Six of the New York Post to give us the actual scoop. (Yes, I know what I said about them the other day, but Page Six and the theatre columnist Michael Riedel are the only reasons to read that rag, trust me). It turns out that Sly was actually suffering from a massive case of stage fright! He hasn't seen 5 people in a room in 13 years, much less 5 million people who were watching that night. When Sly left the stage, it wasn't because he was mad. It was because he had to throw up! He went backstage and vomited all over everything, and then literally walked out of the building by himself.

Said a backstage witness: "He was overcome with stage fright. He left the building on his own. No one saw him out. No one knows where he went."

Typical Sly. The more questions that are answered, the more questions appear.


Anonymous Lilly said...

Ok, you don't have to be persuaded to stop, just filter, perhaps. That Fight Club "remix" is total ca-ca. Brokeback was good, tho. Keep 'em going, it's a good time-waster between shows.

2/11/2006 10:12 PM


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