I have so many things to talk about!!

Oh my, what a day yesterday in the news! Let's review:



- OK, by now, you've probably seen the Iphone from Apple that was announced yesterday at Macworld. If you haven't seen it yet, go see it here, it's a truly beautiful piece of design, as could only come from Apple.

The downside? It only works on Cingular! CINGULAR!?!?! How could you do this to me, Apple? Don't you know how much Cingular blows? I had them for years and years, and no matter where I was in the US, it totally sucked. They kept telling me "Oh, you just need to upgrade to a new phone" and then I would, and it would still suck! Don't you just love those commercials where Cingular boasts that they have the fewest dropped calls? Of course they have the fewest dropped calls, it's hard to drop a call that never connected in the first place! FOR GOD'S SAKE, APPLE! Did you learn nothing from the phone you made with Motorola? Sigh...



- OK, if you're afraid of flying or your name is Alexandra Billings, you may wanna skip this next one. So, let's say you're flying on United (which I fly on virtually every other day - 126,614 miles last year, not that I'm counting...) from Chicago to Burlington, Vermont. Sounds reasonably safe, right? Oh, perhaps you were unaware of the possiblity of
a scorpion stinging you in the leg not once, but TWICE while you're sleeping! Somebody call Sam Jackson, there are muthafuckin scorpions on this muthafuckin plane!


The only thing more unbelieveable about this story is that the guy who it happened to thinks that the airline is probably gonna call him back to offer compensation. CALL HIM BACK? You need to get your muthafuckin upgrade vouchers before you get off that muthafuckin plane! Why is it only the casual flyer gets these kind of problems, I would taken United to the cleaners.




- It's David Bowie's birthday!

You know, I think that "Extras" with Ricky Gervais is just about the funniest thing on television. People go on and on about "The Office", but I like this show better, I'm sorry.

So! In honor of Mr. Bowie's birthday, let's show a clip from his appearance on "Extras", which shows off the genius of both of these guys. I just hope that Bowie doesn't ever wanna make up a song about me.



- Finally, my good friend Toy is in Los Angeles this week, on a job that I recommended her for, and she's been having a good time. Surprise, surprise, she likes all the stuff that I like, and is bothered by all the stuff that I barely notice. But she's getting in the swing of things by wearing her sunglasses all the time, and hanging out in trendy bars so she can get the skinny on who's not in town. Go here to read the full report.

Remember, everything is written in stone, until it's written again in a different stone. That's just how it is.