But how will we ever get to Moscow? WAKA-CHIKA-WAKA-CHIKA-WHOW-WHOW...

What's more sleazy than being a porn star?


A reality show on the Fox Network, of course.


But what's more sleazy than that?


You guessed it, being a porn star in a reality show on the Fox Network.


But wait! What's sleazier than that?


That's right. Being an actor working in the British Theatre.


As reported by Reuters, "My Bare Lady" will cast four leading ladies from U.S. porn studios in a classic piece of drama to be performed in London's West End. Their experiences undergoing a crash course in acting and appearing before a discerning British audience will air in three episodes on the Fox Reality cable and satellite channels this fall.

I am not making this up. This is really happening. But dear God, why?

"It's a wonderful tale of redemption," said David Lyle, general manager of Fox Reality. "Do they want lines that are a little more challenging than 'Oh, here's the pool guy...'?"

Sure, that's right. They just went into porn because they didn't get into Juilliard. Absolutely. I'm sure that they use all their Meisner training when they're repeating the line "Oh god YES!" over and over again. How did we not see this?

"If they can move a London theater audience to applaud, they have done pretty well," said Lyle.

Yes, between "Run For Your Wife" and "No Sex, Please, We're British" - both of which have been running in London for over 20 years - I'm sure that the discriminating West End audience will be very difficult to win over. NOT!

Seriously, the only thing more depressing about this idea is the very serious possibility that it actually may make more people want to go see a play. And then what? Are we all supposed to become porn stars too?

Well, anyway, it will make for a more interesting tech rehearsal.

Ah well.