Self-editing is overrated. Or is it?

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

My only ventriloquist joke!

Well, I saw this on David Letterman last night as they were mentioning next week's "Ventriloquist Week 2" on the show. Paul Schaeffer had this joke as a warm-up for the week:

A ventriloquist goes to his agent to complain that he's not happy with his recent gigs and the agent says "Look, I'm sorry to tell you this, but ventriloquism is just a thing of the past. People just don't find it interesting anymore, and the gigs have really dried up. There's nothing I can do."

The ventriloquist, now really afraid for his future, asks what he should do and the agent says "Listen, I've got a great idea. You're terrific at throwing your voice. You should pretend to be a psychic medium. You can hold seances and you can use your voice misdirection skills to pretend that you're the voice of the dead. People will line up to hear you pretend to be their dead relatives!"

So the ventriloquist sets up a studio for himself as a psychic medium, and puts a sign out front advertising his services. A few minutes later, his first customer comes in, and promptly asks what the rates are for his seance.

The ventriloquist says "For you to hear the voice of the dead, the charge is fifty dollars. For you to have a conversation with the dead, the charge is seventy-five dollars. BUT! As a grand opening special, for one hundred dollars, you can have a conversation with the dead while I drink this glass of water!"


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