Self-editing is overrated. Or is it?

Sunday, December 24, 2006


Look, I know, I know.

We had a thing. A relationship.

After a full 10 months of publishing something every day, I up and left on you for two and a half months. I'm a very bad blogger. Very very very very bad.

What happened? Well. It's like this.

It all started back in October, where I went through the single worst theatrical experience ever. And, for anybody who knows me, that is really saying something, as I have been through some pretty crazy stuff in the line of duty. I'm talking about something where almost EVERY SINGLE MOMENT SUCKED and almost EVERY SINGLE PERSON INVOLVED WAS A TOTAL SHITHEAD. I would tell you the story, but honestly, it's not a funny story. It's a sad story, and it truly brings me no pleasure to tell it.

But I've learned a couple of valuable lessons, and they will definitely be applied in the future. The biggest thing that I learned is, once and for all, that when famous people do theatre anywhere except on Broadway, they feel that they are doing you a huge favor by just being there. They are not unjustified to feel this way, of course, but it does really does drive home the point that you are simply there to validate that viewpoint and that's it. All sort of normal working conditions that one might be used to, such as such as logic, trust, or artistic achievement, are now void in that situation. They are irrelevant, and any initiative to reinstate these things will be viewed as a direct threat. Ignore this rule at your own peril.

The second thing that I have learned that you cannot put a square peg into a round hole. You cannot, even if you have the biggest hammer and you keep hitting it over and over again, even if you throw endless amounts of money at it, even if you have the world's most qualified people swinging the hammer, even if you're willing to swing until your hand is bloody and you've broken the hole that you're trying to get into, YOU CANNOT DO IT.

(long breath)

And that's always good to learn. I've been in this kind of situation before, but there was always at least one ally that I could count on to sort of bootstrap the thing into something worthwhile, but this time? No one. Just me.

So it took a lot out of me. And, you know, I'm blessed that, shitty experience or no, the jobs keep coming. But that also means that these feelings that I got as a result of that experience, that would contribute to burnout (which I have to be very careful about), now sorta have to be repressed until I can get a break to expunge it all. You can't really do that when you're working, because the only way that I'm able to work 24/7 is through a completely positive attitude, and something like this would just weigh all the other jobs down. So, I had to lay low. As they used to say in high school football, "keep your head down and keep pumping your legs." And, no, I didn't actually play high school football.

That, and the fact that there was just this avalanche of work that hit that I had to get done. I mean, crazy amounts of "Hey, we need this right now" coupled with a huge heap of "You can read my mind, right?". Of course, the answer to that question is "No, I can't, but yes, I will."

Through this all, I would get lovely emails from people saying "Hey, where'd you go? I want the blog back." and I would think "Yeah, man! I want the blog back too!" but, you know. I just couldn't. I'm really sorry.

But, OK. Seriously. I'm here now. I know we've had our ups and downs, but, this time, baby, I SWEAR I'm here for real. I promise to not to ever leave you hanging again for that long, and I promise not to mention Iggy and The Stooges again for at least 6 months. (although did you see that their reunion disc is finally coming out? With Mike Watt on bass, no less? Their first album in 33 years! All right, all right, you're right. I'm sorry I brought it up.)

As always, I promise to fill in the empty days between October 7th and now, so PLEASE. You have to scroll down and read all the rest. It will all show up in the next couple of weeks. I have so much to talk about. Seriously.

All right. There you go. I'm back.

Tell your friends.

Kill Yr Idols.



Anonymous Paul Peterson said...

What? Working with famous New Yorkers in a theatre is stressful? Discouraging? Humiliating? Frustrating? Depression-inciting? Bad for blood pressure? Insane? Painful?

I have absolutely no idea what you're alluding to my friend :)

12/28/2006 1:40 PM


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