The Two Things That I Learned Today.

All right, I'm gonna admit something here. I have been working my ass off lately.

I know, I know, I work hard alla time, but seriously, the last month has been nuts. I've been in a different city every two days for the last month, and working on a different show every day. It's been CRAZY. And with 4 shows in NYC, LA, and San Francisco in the next two weeks, it's not gonna slow down.

So there I was, last night, working hard until I couldn't work anymore. Drowsiness was overcoming me slowly and I felt myself about to drift off to sleep with my computer still in my lap. Then, in my final seconds of consciousness, I suddenly bolted upright with a terrifying thought:

"Holy crap, I have to take my son to Disneyland tomorrow for his birthday!"

I have never been to Disneyland before. YES! YOU HEARD ME! JUDGE ME IF YOU WILL, BUT DAMMIT, I'VE NEVER BEEN! SO EAT IT, MICKEY!

In 6 hours, I have to go there. And I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do when I get there. I've got a total of 5 hours there with a 4 year old who's counting on me. What the hell am I going to do?



Thank god for this book right here: "The Unofficial Guide to Disneyland" by Bob Schlesinger. It is freakin awesome. I mean it, I don't know this guy, I do not work for the publisher, I have no connection whatsoever with this book, but let me tell you by the time I got to Anaheim today, I was the freakin expert on the place.

Now I hear what you're saying: "Lindsay Jones, did you honestly leave your child in the car and run into Borders this morning and buy this book so that you would somehow pull a successful Disneyland trip out of your ass?", to which I can only say: Are you kidding me? How long have we known each other? Would you expect anything less from me?

But I gotta tell you this book saved my ass! Why, you may ask? Well, literally, I was just sitting on my couch in the middle of the night thinking: "If only somebody would just tell me what to do step-by-step with a 4 year old in one day at Disneyland." and lo and behold, there is a chapter called "What To Do Step-By-Step With A Four Year Old In One Day At Disneyland"! Why isn't life always this easy?!?

Anyway, it worked out great. If you're going to Disneyland, buy this book. If anybody knows of other books where the answers to my questions are spelled out in chapter titles, please forward these books to me immediately.

So that's the first thing that I learned today.

The other thing? Oh, right. The other thing is: Always keep your eye on Goofy.